Can You Live WIthout Affection?
By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Humans need touch to thrive. Unless you have a close connection with your partner, you are probably not getting enough affection. After years of marriage, many people stop having sex, and rarely touch each other. This is just sad. When we don’t get love and attention from our partner, we can feel very alone and lonely within our relationship.
Do you hug people when you first meet? I do. I am a hugger. When an outstretched hand is offered, I rarely shake it, instead I walk forward and hug the unsuspecting soul. I like to hug and connect heart-to-heart with left arm up over the other person’s shoulder. This way when we hug, our heart’s connect.
I recently went on a shopping expedition, at a store in Denver. I was sent there by a dear client. I rarely shop, but when I do, I buy several things at a time. I spent several hours trying on different clothes and outfits to find just the right thing. After I paid for my purchases, the owner of the shop came around the counter and said to me, “What fun I had helping you. You were so OPEN.” She hugged me good-bye as she had enjoyed helping me as much as I had enjoyed shopping. A hug signals acceptance. A hug shows you that you are loved.
Babies die even when their needs are met, but there is no cuddling, stroking or skin-to-skin contact. Dr. Rene Spitz was concerned in the 1940’s when the babies left in her care and in a sterile environment were dying. They were fed, changed, bathed. Yet, they were dying. She discovered that they were not being touched, stroked and were devoid of skin-to-skin contact.
Love and affection go together. We need the touch of a caring hand, a kind look from someone who loves us and hugs to actually thrive.
The next time you pass your partner sitting at the table, touch them. Stroke the back of their hand, or put your hands on their
shoulders. Or how about offering a shoulder rub, or a foot massage. There are all kinds of ways to touch each other to show love that are non-sexual.
We are high tech and low touch. But the human need remains.
completely different: lie spooning on the couch and watch a movie together? Spooning with your partner will give you the benefit of more than 12 hugs before the movie is over. You might be surprised what pops up between you!
10 Reasons You Need Touch
- Being hugged and touched reduces anxiety.
- You feel more confident when you are being touched.
- You feel accepted.
- You feel connected to others.
- You are being validated unconsciously by being hugged and touched.
- You bond with others through touch. It is the way we become more connected in our relationships with our children, and partners. Over time, some people touch less. Touch is something we need to work on and remember. It keeps us close. It keeps us bonded. Teens need touch and hugs too.
- Your immune system functions better when you are touched.
- Lowers blood pressure.
- Improves your outlook. Makes you feel more positive.
- Many of us are sensory deprived. All senses need to be expressed for healthy brain output. Feeling a soft blanket, walking through sand, soaking in a hot tub, or slipping into freshly washed sheets.
Jennifer is a life, sex and love coach. She helps women and men love themselves fearlessly. She also assists with sexual dysfunction. She is an ordained minister, hypnotherapist,
Neurolinguistic Programming Practitioner, Energy Healer and catalystic healer. Just talking to Jennifer can bring up your issues.