Don’t Make Your Man Your Project
By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters
Love Him The Way He Is
Humans were designed to be in pairs. Scientists have proven that we live longer when married. Finding happiness for many depends on having a relationship to do so. Having someone to curl up with at the end of the day, to share our life with can enhance our lives in so many ways. Regular sex keeps our bodies functioning optimally and helps to fulfill us. Even the way our bodies were formed indicates that we are the yin to our mates yang. We were created like two pieces of a puzzle that fit beautifully together. We were meant to be in relationships.
Today we have more options and opportunities to meet potential partners. Internet dating has changed prospecting for that golden relationship. We have access to endless possibilities and choices. Paying attention early during the dating process allows you to assess how good a fit the two of you will be. Where women go astray is when they deny traits by making excuses or explaining away their partner’s deficits. They think they can live with these undesirable traits in their potential partners; then set about to change them after they are married. This is one of the biggest traps for codependent women. When we set about to change our partner, we are sending the message that they aren’t good enough and neither are we.
If you have done your own internal work and raised your vibration sufficiently to attract a healthy, balanced man, congratulations! If not, you may find yourself following thousands of women into the trap of trying to change your man or “fix him.”
One thing is for sure, if you can’t accept him the way he is, move on! The surest way to piss off your partner is to attempt to mold him into something different. What you don’t realize is that making a man your “project” is an indication that you are not happy with you. Trying to fix someone else takes the attention away from you and magnifies the warts and faults that your partner has. If you are not happy with your partner and feel the need to change him, look inside yourself instead.
Let’s face it, unless you are the Dalai Lama, or Mother Theresa you probably aren’t perfect either. Accepting your partner as they are is the biggest gift you can give them. The more compassionate and loving you are to you, the more compassionate, accepting and allowing you will be of your partner or spouse.
Do You Nag?
Nagging and complaining about your partner’s actions will not win you Brownie points either. No one wants to have their faults pointed out to them or to be corrected whenever we make a mistake. This role puts you in the parental seat. Do you really want to be his Mamma? Seriously, would you want to get cozy and make love to someone who is criticising your every move? I don’t think so. It you are one who nags and complains you are not happy with yourself. Being in a state of allowing means that you accept others as they are. The happier you are with yourself, the more allowing and compassionate you will be with others.
Keep Repeating The Same Mistakes?
If you find yourself married and divorced several times, you have limiting patterns that are running your life. You can break free of old patterns. Doing so by yourself is nearly impossible. It took me 30 years of deep work and introspection to get to the place of total self acceptance and compassion with myself and others. I use tools like a relationship matrix that helps you see your patterns and how each of your relationships resembles your previous ones in many respects.
Working with someone who is free of limiting beliefs and is able to help you get to the root of your issues quickly is key. I help you shift your perspective and help you fall in love with yourself, your family, your soul and your gifts. The more in love with you, the more others will be magnetized to you also. Having a deep love and respect for yourself has the added benefit of helping you be successful and more prosperous. Money and love have the same vibration – that of LOVE!
If you are suffering from lack consciousness, it is because you don’t love and accept yourself they way you are. Through my Love Yourself Fearlessly coaching program I help you let go of perfectionism, control and fear. You will begin to trust yourself. You see yourself with new eyes. You don’t change, your perspective does. As your triggers are cleared you become less reactive and more balanced. You sink in to your True Self and step into the empowered you. You won’t be ruled by your emotions.
How much have you spent on divorces? How much time have you wasted being unhappy. Don’t you think you are worth the investment in you?
Jennifer is a gifted certified Self Love coach, hypnotherapist and energy healer. Her book Odyssey Victim to Victory details her journey from depression, negativity and low self esteem to joy in every breath every day. When you are happy with you, it does not matter where you live or whether you are alone or with a partner you feel happy and grounded in the moment. Call Jennifer now to schedule your discovery session to see if you and she are a good fit. (770) 480-5500. Or email Jennifer .