Help For The Addict: Sex Addiction POM
Addictions can be as simple as being addicted to caffeine. You might need to have your cup of java to get yourself moving in the morning. You don’t beat yourself up over it, you just do it. The problem with sex addiction is that most addicts beat themselves literally and figuratively over it.
|addicted from birth?|
not met, WHAMO! We have a void inside us that can’t be filled. We search for love, often through sex. We crave success, wealth, fame, relationships, and sex to fill the hole that is seemingly bottomless. This whole has to be filled by us first. We have to give love to ourselves.
|David Duchovny, where life meets art. He played a sex addict and
recover? Because you feel broken. You feel that a need just can’t be filled. As soon as you climax, you want to do it again. You are reaching for your joy stick instead of dealing with the source of the issue.
- Write down the feelings bubbling up when you have the urge to masturbate. I know guys don’t want to FEEL. But the bottom line is that the underlying reason you feel empty is the reason you are reaching for your joystick. Each time you masturbate you are trying to change the way you FEEL inside. It has nothing to do with sexual arousal. You just THINK it does.
- Feel the emotion you are feeling fully. Don’t run away by masturbating.
- Who are you? Where did you come from? (this one usually stumps people. Answer: _Child of God. God. This does not mean you have to start attending church. However, the spiritual part is a large part of healing you. Denying who you are has gotten you into this state.
- What do you love about you? List 10 things.
- What do you love to do? List 10 things.
- What are you passionate about? List at least 3 things that you are very passionate about. Are you doing any of these things regularly? Are you doing them at all, ever? This passion will become your soul purpose. How you give back. Being in service to humanity on some level is a necessary part of healing. For me, I serve by helping people live happier, connected lives in love and with passion.
- Soften your focus. Instead of beating yourself up with thoughts and words, be gentle and kind to yourself. The more loving and accepting you can be of your flaws and faults the higher your emotional fulfillment becomes. Instead of emptying your emotional gas tank you begin to fill it yourself with positive thoughts and feelings.
I like to use mantras in the background of my mind. I recommend you do it for two weeks before you say, “Oh that doesn’t work for me.” Don’t knock it till you have tried it. Mantras change your negative unconscious beliefs from running amok, to congruent longer and slower brain waves, that feel good. Begin with something simple like, “I am the light of the Divine inside me.” If that doesn’t work for you, how about, “I LOVE ME?”
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
You can’t have permanent healing without letting go of all fear-based mental constructs. Control, manipulation, jealousy are all fear-based mental constructs. Letting go is a release and surrender. Remember that doing the same thing over and over is the definition of insanity. Surrender is a much brighter path to your tomorrow.
Jennifer coached me from a place of darkness, despair and depression. After a several horrible codependent relationships and a nastry breakup, I felt lost and thought I needed a relationship to feel whole. Jennifer guided me to wait to date. I followed her advice. I now am in a loving, supportive relationship instead of one that was debilitating and abusive. CM Los Angeles
Jennifer Masters has remotely cleared several members of my family. One case in particular has been both subtle and profound in the positive changes that have occurred. I am grateful for her power and dedication. JLI, Denver
Jennifer saved our marriage! With her loving, compassionate coaching, we are now able to communicate with one another in loving ways on every imaginable level~ So grateful! G and SS