Orgasm For Life: Preface
From my second book, Orgasm For Life
Run your fingers through my soulFor once, just once feel exactly what I feel, Believe what I believe,
Perceive what I perceive, Look, experience, examineAnd for once, just onceTruly understand
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy Crystal
Forget what you have ever heard. Forget whatever you have ever been taught. Most of what you have learned thus far have your balls gripped in a vise and twisted. For those of you without testicles, you have spent far too long repenting those you have slept with and regretting the ones you let get away.
Your life is about to change profoundly on a very personal level.
Religion and society have molded, groomed and programmed us to behave a certain way. When we move beyond the middle road of life, our palms begin to sweat, and our conscience pulls us back from living a life outside the “normal limits” of society. We see a stray sheep now and then living a life beyond our programming and conditioning. We wonder what it might feel like to not care what society thinks. Our morals and other societal limitations for the extraordinary keep us in check. Instead, we find ourselves skirting middle age and beyond, without ever having touched the thrill of sex standing up in an antique store or other public places. These are only fantasies, hopes or dreams we sometimes read about.
Memories of sex under the Eiffel Tower in Paris and the first class section of a DC-8, for most “normal” people, don’t exist. Most of us only dream about outlandish or outrageous behavior that might get us thrown off a public airline. There are those who push the limits, who experience wide-eyed wonder in their lives. We see these players and characters in movies and imagine what life would be like to be them, if only for a moment.
We find ourselves as adults with children and responsibilities that further bog us down, yet create more mundane, but pleasant events. We love our families but long for the thrill of the stomach-dropping roller coaster ride, minus the vomit, which unbridled free sexual expression can give us.
Life is supposed to be pleasure-filled. Do we approach middle-age wondering where it is? For all our back-breaking, nose-to-the-grindstone years we have endured, it seems that the pleasure has been wrung out of our sexual experiences. We read about it in books or watch it on a movie screen. We live in an “On Demand” society. We desire instant gratification. We want mind blowing sex with multiple orgasms that leave us wishing we smoked, so we could experience the post coitus inhalation, then fling ourselves onto our dampened pillows, panting “OH MY GOD!”
Why isn’t it happening in your life right now? We confuse pleasure with entertainment. We focus on what we don’t have. We think longingly of the guy, or girl back in the 80’s with the great ass, then wonder why we didn’t fuck them right then.
Screw regret. Life is too short to spend half of it wishing wistfully for something we don’t have, and the other half wishing we had the guts to do what we didn’t do. The more we focus on our regrets, the more regrettable moments we have.
We know that happy people do extraordinary things. Depressed people rarely astound anyone. We live in a rat race of work, errands, then death. Life is over before we know it. Sometimes we see people younger than ourselves dying before their time. I am writing this book to light a firecracker under your ass, to catapult you out of your easy chair, away from your remote. You have the power to consciously create more joy and pleasure in your life rather than watching it pass you by from the sidelines. Life will be over before you know it. Wouldn’t you rather have a memory of making love in the ocean off the coast of Bermuda, remembering your life as one that was lived passionately?
Durex Sex Survey 2013
Over 50% are dissatisfied with their bedroom escapades.80% of women fake orgasm over 50% of the time.
26% of women fake it every time.
28% of men fake orgasm.
35% orgasm every time they have sex.
40% of women have some sexual dysfunction.
10% of women never have orgasms.
37% have also said they hardly ever, or never, “cross the finish line” at the same time as their partner.
65% of American adults have gotten hot ‘n’ heavy in a car. 35% have taken more than a dip in a pool and 31% have bared it all on a beach.
65% daydream about making love more often outside of the bedroom.
According to Luann Brizandine – Author of The Female Brain, men think of sex every 52 seconds, while women only think of sex an average of once a day.
You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither. Steve Martin
The Best Orgasm For Your Life
An orgasm is about letting go, complete surrender. Gripping the window ledge of life with your fingertips, hanging on for dear life in fear and shame does not get you to the big “O.” It might, however, get you acid reflux, hypertension and heart attacks.We
have the best sex when we are “all in.” When our mind, body and soul are completely engrossed and engulfed in the sexual and emotional experience.
Great, expansive orgasms are best appreciated and enjoyed with someone that we connect with and love deeply. The best sex we have happens when we are totally in the moment, experiencing the infinite feelings of taste, touch, and pleasure. Our experience is heightened when we can relax and let go, shut out the world, totally engrossed in the sexual experience, connected on all levels with your partner. Here is where pleasure, ecstasy, union of mind-body-spirt take sex to a much higher level. It is no wonder we often yell, “Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!” when experiencing intense, unbridled pleasure.
When we experience the dissolving of barriers and walls through orgasm, we reach an experience that can only be expressed as an altered state. This is where we experience something greater than we are. Losing control and letting go can take us to a place that feels like we touched something greater than ourselves. A fragment of enlightenment crosses into our consciousness that is unparalleled in intensity or depth of feeling. It is no wonder that men have killed for it, women have died for it: sex is an intensely gratifying and wondrous experience.The purpose of this book is to help the millions of people worldwide who want to increase intimacy, pleasure and improve their sex lives, but don’t know where to begin. Most people want more information so they can understand themselves better, as well as their partner’s desires and needs.
Great sex can help a relationship last a lifetime. Statistics show that those relationships which have a strong sexual attraction to deeply connected sex are healthier and last longer. People who have sex regularly touch each other more often, enjoying deeper intimacy. Both reinforce the love between a couple. Humans need touch. When we stop having sex, we seldom touch each other. Instead of snuggling at night, we may sleep apart. We are more apt to notice our partner’s faults, argue and complain about our partner’s behavior.
Saying YES to sex means saying YES to love, ultimately more happiness, with greater well-being. Saying NO turns women into bitches, it sends our men out the door to have sex with their co-workers and tennis buddies. There is always someone who will say, YES! Why can’t it be YOU?
No matter what your sexual preference is, there is guidance on some level for everyone. Being heterosexual, my focus was directed towards the intricacies of male-female physical challenges and communication. I have respect for all genders and sexual preferences. I have interviewed hundreds of men and women, lesbian, gay and straight to understand the many challenges and differences between us.
Many women I know stop having sex in their fifties. They have stopped having sex because it was not fulfilling. They didn’t have orgasms and their husbands and lovers didn’t seem to know. Many felt that their partner’s did not care. This is just sad. Many women are disheartened, like I was, about the sex they have had. Just because we have sexual body parts does not mean we know how to make love to another. Or even with ourselves.
Many of us need help. Sex can improve as you get older, with some guidance and understanding. Men need education, understanding, and patience with us women. Women too need to have better understanding of the male psyche and how it feels to be rejected when we are not in the mood. With new knowledge and understanding, more women will be satisfied and happier.
I am committed to help women heal their lives and love themselves fearlessly. Fearless living and loving is our birthright. I help women heal their sexuality as it is a part of who we are. If you don’t love yourself enough to have sex with your partner, there are self-esteem issues involved. Loving relationships involve sex, compassion, acceptance, loving touch, appreciation, respect and trust.
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