Thinking Outside of The Box

Thinking Outside of The Box

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

What is the one thing that keeps people from living up to their highest potential? 


Fear. Fear is the same thing that keeps women saying “NO!” instead of YES, from couples from coupling, divorced people from re-marrying, and broken hearted people from opening their hearts enough to try it again. Fear is also the thing that stops us from experiencing really great sex. Fear blocks. It detracts rather than adds. Fear keeps us stuck!

Fear blocks us from trying new experiences. It keeps us in worry and judgment. What will you think of me, if I tell you what I really want from you? What will you think of me, if I ask for what I want from you (in the bedroom and out). What will you think of me if I tell you I want you to talk to me, while we have sex, that it ignites a fire inside me and brings me closer to you? What if…….._______ fill in your personal blank.

We make judgments. We critique. We think ______ is bad, wrong or dirty. We can’t do that because if we did, what would people think? We fear others critiquing or judgment, which keeps us stuck in a paradigm that does not allow us to expand and grow. We think because we have only done things a certain way, that is the way they need to continue to be done.


WHAT IF?

Change is the only thing we can really count on.

Stepping outside of the box we have created for us, is the best thing for us and our relationship? 

We create a pact to try something new, see how it goes and have a safe word if we feel pain, or really really afraid?

I have counseled people who have been trying to make things work by doing the same thing over and over again. What were they afraid of? Losing their partner. What happened? They lost their partner.

Let’s Look at Stephen

Stephen was married 26 years. His wife was 11 years younger than he. She was unhappy with their sex life. She said she wanted to swing. He didn’t. She did anyway. He lost her. What if Stephen’s wife was afraid to tell her husband about the fact that he came too quickly and it never gave her a chance to have an orgasm? What if his anger issue was causing his problem? What if it all could have been fixed? Women are afraid to tell their husbands that they are not coming. I know I was. When I did my husband was not kind. He got very angry. In fact, he was enraged.

Now I am not saying swinging is for everyone. It certainly is not for me. It wasn’t for Stephen either. But what if Stephen had said, “Why do you want to swing?” His wife might have answered, “Well you don’t stimulate me enough sexually. Then you enter me before I am really turned on. Then you orgasm leaving me hanging, every time. I am really tired of you getting off and me not! After 26 years, you would think I would have had a few orgasms, but I haven’t!” What then? 

Maybe he would have gotten help and fixed his little HTP issue. Maybe if he learned how to stimulate his wife she wouldn’t have wanted to swing. After 26 years, she never told him he didn’t do it for her. Which is the case for many marriages. Women need more stimulation than their male counterparts do. Women are afraid to tell their husbands. 

HTP – Premature Ejaculation Is A Problem

Hair Trigger Penis is caused by blocked emotions and rage. Which he had oodles of. If he had an energy clearing and a little hypnotherapy with me, he could have pleased his wife very well.

They could have saved their marriage and made improvements in their sex life that would have brought them closer together. Instead they are both miserable.

If love is present, and both parties want to work on the issue, it can be remedied. But if the women aren’t talking how are the men to know? 

I wrote about Maria, in Orgasm For Life a woman I met in the gym. Within minutes of beginning a conversation about my book, she told me she had been married for 35 years and she thinks, she may have had ONE orgasm. One orgasm in 35 years. When she brought it up to her husband, do you think he was warm, loving and understanding? Blame is really not the point, is it? No one is a victim here. 

Unfortunately, because he was like so many men, a macho man who thought he was a great lover, he beat her up. He put a pillow over her head and called her names. Is it really a woman’s fault if she is not coming, or yours? Communication is key. Loving, understanding and compassion is needed for both parties. Working together to have mutual pleasure is the way.  


If you are stuck doing the same thing, the same way, you may end up stuck in a box that doesn’t work for one of you any more. Change it up. 

Penetrative Sex

Did you know that 75% of women don’t have an orgasm through penetrative sex? What does that mean? Penis in the vagina sex for women doesn’t get them to Mt. Fuji. It might take them to the foothills, where the trees are a little more sparse, but it doesn’t get them to the snow capped mountain tops of amazing orgasmic
O is for Orgasm which both parties experience

experience. NO WAY? Yes, way! So men, if you are doing a little fingering and jumping on top of your woman, you are missing the orgasmic boat. Well maybe you aren’t but she certainly is! 


Most men have no idea that this is a fact. This is the way most men make love to their woman. Russell Brand, Messiah Complex has it down. Yes it is a little raunchy. But isn’t what you do in the bedroom, also? If you haven’t watched his program on Net Flix, you need to. I have provided a link below for your viewing pleasure. Just don’t complain that I didn’t warn you. His final words….. “Women come first……  and I am the second coming!” Very funny stuff. 

Remember, women come first. If she has not had an orgasm before you do, you are missing out on really pleasing your woman. Women are ALL capable of multiple orgasms. Men are too. However, doing things the same way, at the same time, keeps you stuck. 

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a sex and love coach as well as the author of the amazing provocative book, Orgasm For Life. She

works with men and women to empower, heal relationships and create deeper connection and more meaningful, loving relationships. She also helps women who keep attracting guys who are not in their highest and best good, attract men who are The One. 


Need some new ideas? Need something that will stimulate you both? Orgasm For Life, will make you laugh, turn you on and

help you create a deeper, more meaningful sex life together. Looking for a more sacred relationship, Orgasm For Life is a guide to amazing bliss. 

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