Why Does The Idea Of Sex Not Turn Me On Anymore?

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Why Does The Idea Of Sex Not Turn Me On Anymore?

By Jennifer Elizabeth Masters

You remember a time you wanted to rip your husband’s clothes off as a distant memory. Lately sleep seems to be much more appealing than a romp in the hay. What happened to your libido?



Over time, sex can become a chore. Our partner may express a desire for sex when we’re feeling exhausted, pulled in four directions by children, housework, or business; sex may be the furthest thing from your mind. 

Women in their 30’s and 40’s who used to enjoy great sex with their partners are not interested in sex. In fact, 24 million women aren’t interested in sex according to a recent study in the Journal of The American Medical Association. What’s wrong with this picture?

15 Reasons Women Stop Having Sex

Anger and Resentment

When emotionally charged issues surface many people leave subjects alone preferring to keep the peace. When we don’t resolve the conflict, the issues continue to play out in the background, like a simmering pot on a stove

When we become the least bit agitated about the garbage not being taken out, or some other unrelated subject these unresolved issues surface with a vengeance. Unresolved issues don’t go away; they become a roadblock to intimacy and deep emotional connection.


When Issues Are Not Resolved
When we come together for sex without resolution, sex can become robotic with women faking orgasm or being unresponsive to stimulation.

Having Sex For Your Partner’s Sake

Women find that taking one for the team get’s old after a while. Having sex just because your partner wants to ejaculate isn’t thrilling anymore. Some women become angry or resentful that they don’t have orgasms each time their partner does. Giving yourself away without the pleasure of an orgasm can leave a woman feeling used, undervalued and underappreciated.


Continuing on the same path doing the same things you have always done is a recipe for disaster. JEM


Mutual Pleasure

If sex isn’t equally pleasurable for both parties, over time the under satisfied party will lose the desire to participate. Having been there myself, I wrote about this issue in Orgasm For Life. There are many suggestions in my book that will help a lagging libido and unsatisfactory sex life for both men and women.

Prescription Medication

Anti-depressants, statins and other medicine for high blood pressure can reduce the desire for sex. One man informed me that it took him eighteen months AFTER he stopped taking anti-depressants to begin to desire sex again. 

Taking a pill to fix a problem only stuffs it deeper into the tissues covering up the real reason for depression. 

Aging and Decreased Desire

Women who loved sex in their twenties and thirties are discovering a drop in libido well before menopause. It is natural for sex drive to diminish in a woman’s thirties and forties. We were designed to be highly aroused during the birthing years with a decline later on which makes sense when you think about it. 


What Do You Want?

Many women in long-term relationships find that they don’t want to continue with the same type of sex they have been having. As an advocate for women, I recommend that women take a close look at what they want. Before you think about divorce, read this article. For men, I recommend further reading for you here

  1. Are you getting your needs met sexually? 
  2. Do you wonder what happened to you and why you aren’t happy with your life?
  3. Begin to ask for what would work for you. 
  4. Do you need more direct stimulation? 
  5. Do you prefer oral to penetrative sex? 

Natural Ways To Repair Your Sexual Relationship

  1. Take a natural remedy to boost your libido
  2. Talk to your partner about the things that bother you without blame. 
  3. Talk about the elephant in the room and ask for what you need. Stop being afraid to ask for things to be different in bed.
  4. Teach your partner to stimulate you in a way that will get you to orgasm.
  5. Read Orgasm For Life and highlight the things that would work for you. Pass the book to your partner. 
  6. Hire Jennifer as your coach to assist you with your relationship. I have great success in helping repair relationships and libido. 
  7. Use a quality organic lubricant regularly to prevent pain, tearing or chafing. 
Sex is a delicate subject for many couples. Women don’t want to reject their men or make them feel bad about not enjoying sex as they used to. Encourage your partner by telling them what you

like that your partner is doing. Then ask for what you want. This way, you are not blaming the other person. 


Our bodies change as we age. What used to turn you on might not have the same effect now. It’s okay. Contact Jennifer for your discovery session to find out if her work is a good fit for you. 

Visit Jennifer’s Aphrodite Effect website
When we lovingly accept ourselves as we are with all our faults

and flaws, we have healthy self-esteem. 






Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is the author of the forthcoming book: HAPPY HERE, HAPPY ANYWHERE The Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Unhappiness Without a Prescription!


Find Jennifer’s books on Amazon.
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